Garnered from a March 2002 Her Domain Email List Thread.

YOU MIGHT BE A TECH-HEAD IF:

• The local gas station is selling DSL and you think "Wow...when did Conoco become an ISP?"
• You've got more spare computer parts than credit cards.
• Your children know how to install software before they know how to ride a bike.
• When you move, you get your new place based on fitting five computers in one room.
• You call your friends by their screen names when you see them in person.
• You buy a cell phone so you can get email when you're away from your computer.
• You send your kids email on their computers telling them it's time for dinner.
• When you've been out and about in town all morning and have to pee really, really bad, but when you reach home you check your email before you go to the bathroom.
• You double click on images in your dreams to move to a new scene.
• You wish that your house had a search engine.
• You're explaining to someone about your situation and you say it like "I 're-booted' my 19 yr old out of my house after she pushed the "Reset" buttons on my brain's CPU."
• A memory upgrade is no longer an option for your life...but you
  actually considered it.
• Your friend tells you they have a virus...and instead of asking them what the doctor says, you ask them what pattern files or dat files they currently have.
• When you need to cut costs, you cancel your phone service, leaving
  your cable modem.
• A friend met a his girlfriend in person at a bar and when explaining how they met, you say, "He met her offline".
• You explain how a guest room is like a temp tablespace for sorting out the rest of the house (-must love database humor).
• Your friends call you more often for tech support than moral support.
• You instant message your roommate, instead of going upstairs to talk face to face.
• Your car's CD player plays MP3s too.
• You belong to a list-serv that sends out more than 50 emails a day...and you read them.
• You unconsciously start to open files with the remote while watching TV.
• You buy and sell most of your electronics and entertainment on eBay and never go to garage sales anymore.
• Even your dog has his own web site.
• You own a t-shirt that says "No, I will not fix your computer", especially for family gatherings.
• You send out all your party invites by email and keep forgetting to invite the friends who you would have to phone.
• You have no more friends who don't have email.
• You judge the coolness of your friends and acquaintances by their home computers' processing power and operating systems.
• After buying exclusively on-line for 3 years, you visit a bricks and mortar store and buy $50 of assorted junk you don't need because you are mesmerized by the 3 dimensional displays.
• You have a surge protector on the house that protects the computer from a direct hit from lightning. Your insurance agent points out that the house would burn to the ground, but that's alright because you'd take the computer out before anything else.
• Your boyfriend knows you are serious when you store your backup CD at
  his house.
• You are writing a list, make a mistake, and automatically try to "UNDO".
• You can build 2 good computers from the spare parts in your closet, and still have some left over.
• You find yourself speaking in all acronyms.
• You try to CTRL+V to paste a thought from your brain onto paper.
• Though you've scorned yellow happy faces since their invention in the '60s, you use emoticons like punctuation. . .even in hand-written notes.
• More than 90% of your email is from listservs regarding computer technologies, and you refuse to part with them because they are kind of like a security blanket now.
• Your desktop is so full of shortcut icons you have to arrange them in alphabetical order to find the one you want.
• You have a "little black book" full of passwords . . . all of them in use.
• You refer to yourself as "cross-platform" when you mean you can drive stick *and* automatic!
• You realize that almost all your friends work in high-tech, and you refer to people who don't work in high-tech as "normal."
• You find it hard to come up with topics of conversation with someone who isn't a tech-head.
  

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